Soldiers Request Urgent Logistical Support for Toilet Paper

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A vintage photograph depicts a campsite on a mountainside. In the center, a canvas tent is pitched, surrounded by sparse trees. In the foreground, a campfire burns brightly, with flames and smoke rising into the air. To the left, a person is seated near storage boxes, while another person on the right prepares items on a makeshift surface, surrounded by various metal containers. The background reveals a view of layered, misty mountains under a muted sky. The overall scene conveys a sense of solitude and rugged outdoor living.

Dear Esteemed Ministry of Defense,

We, your loyal and dedicated soldiers, humbly request urgent logistical support. Not for ammunition, not for rations, but for something far more critical to the well-being of our unit: toilet paper.

Now, we understand that true warriors must adapt to their environment. We tried. But, unfortunately, nature in these mountains is particularly hostile to certain… delicate operations. There are only needle trees, which, as you may imagine, do not offer the comfort one hopes for in such situations. As for the grass—let’s just say it has all the charm of a razor factory.

Our morale is strong. Our dedication is unwavering. But our backsides? They are under siege.

We therefore submit this official plea for mercy. A small supply drop, a humanitarian airdrop, even a single dignity-saving roll—anything would be appreciated. We promise to fight harder, march further, and never take soft paper for granted again.

With deepest respect (and slight desperation),

Your most loyal, but increasingly uncomfortable, soldiers,
Private Tae-won & Private Ji-ho