Now I stand here...
They taught me how to stand. How to smile. How to fill the air with the right words, sung at the right pitch, for the right ears.
And I did it. I did it well.
But something cracks tonight.
Not loudly. Not visibly. Just a sound inside – like a thread snapping, deep under skin.
I see them – the rows of faces, all waiting for the same song. But I see one face that is not waiting. Not believing. Not clapping.
A face that looks at me like I’ve disappeared inside my own voice.
And suddenly, I know it.
I know it like the way light floods a room when you open the right window.
I’ve sung not to express, but to erase.
I’ve smiled not from joy, but from habit.
I’ve lived on rails laid by others, too narrow to turn around.
But now I see the edge. I see the space beyond the line.
And I can’t unsee it.
Even if I keep singing, I won’t be in the song.
Even if they applaud, I won’t be among them.
Even if nothing changes around me – everything has changed within.
I’ve found something no one can give or take.
I’ve found the place where I won’t lie to myself again.
And from here, I walk forward. Even if it’s in silence...
Seol-hwa
