Statistical Adjustments for National Harmony

To: Tae-sung
From: Bo-kyung (Ministry of Agriculture, Dept. of Yield Optimization)

Subject: A humble request from an overwhelmed civil servant

Dear Tae-sung,

I hope this message finds you well—and not too entangled in the spaghetti of code and logic gates that seem to govern your life (and, increasingly, ours).

I’m writing with a small, innocent question:
Could you perhaps connect my terminal… to the Supercomputer?

Let me explain. Each week, I submit the agricultural yield projections. Each week, I stare at the numbers and think: No one will believe this. Because no one should. Not even the cucumbers would grow so faithfully under the conditions we report.

But alas, expectations must be met. So I nudge the numbers. Fertilizer becomes optional. Rainfall becomes a matter of interpretation. And corn? Corn becomes legend.

It is tiring, this art of plausible fiction. And I thought—perhaps you could help. Perhaps your magnificent machine could generate the next iteration of our national fantasy. Tasteful, coherent, internally consistent… just like reality, only better.

Think of it as gardening, but in a spreadsheet. I plant the seed (“Rice production, Q2”), and the Supercomputer helps it blossom into something… publishable.

If it works, I’ll buy you a coffee. If it fails, well—at least the numbers will be beautiful.

Yours bureaucratically,
Bo-kyung
Ministry of Agriculture
(Chief Dreamweaver, unofficially)