To Private Tae-won & Private Ji-ho
Mountain Logistics Unit
(Unofficial Shoelace Diplomacy Division, Bear Liaison Department)
Comrades,
Your communications have been received and duly recorded. The Ministry acknowledges the challenges faced by your unit under current operational conditions.
1. Toilet Paper:
Your request has been forwarded through appropriate logistical channels. Delivery will be arranged at the earliest feasible opportunity, subject to weather conditions and airspace restrictions. Exercise discretion regarding the use and potential barter of this resource.
2. Shoelace Diplomacy:
Cross-border exchanges, while unofficial, are noted. The Ministry neither condemns nor explicitly authorizes such interactions. Maintain vigilance and report any further developments deemed significant.
3. Bear Presence:
Your report concerning the bear has been reviewed. At present, no official protocol exists for integration of wildlife into military personnel rosters. You are instructed to avoid unnecessary provocation. Should further contact occur, document behavior and continue standard reporting procedures. Additional kimchi allocations are under review.
The Ministry recognizes the dedication and adaptability demonstrated by your unit. Maintain operational readiness. Preserve unit cohesion. Remain alert.
Respectfully,
Major Kang Il-sung
Ministry of Defense